silver circles

finally falling in love again... with the silver circles someone painted on the side walk, all up, and all down these neighbors streets, i walk every night now by myself, and every day, by myself, to find leaf imprints stamped crevices , concrete poured one day, the leaves rebelling in their color change and fall,
i explained to her, my new friend i translate for, that that's what we call these months, coming, and i'm finally falling in love..... with the largest gingko tree i've ever seen, i can walk by every night now, passing the old women, lovely wrinkles and mykeys bounce in my pocket, a klinket to someone else's sounds, recorded, now filling my ears, i make music with them, and perfectly manicured lawns, i decide who tends to them, all happy people, with babies, and partners, and i walk alone, with bright feet and a meditteranean feast in my belly, i ate alone, after a swam alone for hours and when the boy, he and i met eyes, he wanted to fill my aloness and his aloness and i fell in love.......with being alone and rode home by myself. blissfully content.
for today.

a new freckle and coffee kahlua

my sister told me i had a lot of freckles a few days ago.. which i somehow had never seen. now i see new ones arriving every day, taking over to form huge masses of browness.these tiny pin points new to me like this gray hair and these wrinkles. i'm getting old.my body hurts from physical movement. but it has been a long day.... the best day in weeks. FINALLYyipeee i was able to enjoy being alone. but i suspect anyone would could,riding around all morning ona jetski, saving people from the center of the lake. having been lost for an hour it made my team feel purposeful. i was out to find these poor souls. the second version i've ever seen of me, and my legs, her partner looked just like mine, when he was mine,they were visiting the family.. and i rode away, convincing myself.I'M SO HAPPY tobe alone. choose my day. be here. in michigan. right? there are moments. and today they lasted more than seconds.
one day,
i won't have a bum thumb and i'll have all gray hair. i see that in my future today. and one day drinking coffee and kahlua at 10 am. wont' be out of the ordinary.and one day i will write about something other than myself. i see that too.