Lemurs Leaping

Yesterday I sat in the "Hollywood Theatre" of the hospital with patients, families and staff waiting for connection with the international spacestation. It was an exciting event organized by the hospital and a European radio program. We spoke to a Canadian astronaut and one by one all eight children were able to ask questions which were answered with sincerity and humor. One event of many at this hospital which makes children struggling with great health challanges, excited for the day. Next week I will attend the hospital theatre production of "Tails" a play that was written by a physician here many years ago. It will be the goodbye evening to my Syrian family. In our last conversation, via interpretor, the father told me that he is forever thankful for my help and that they will miss me. I feel great sadness for these goodbyes. These connections that will be "terminated"; a term used by social workers that I despise and dread. Goodbye letters and closing of cases, I worry about all this unfinished business but my African friends help me to not worry and my Buddhist friends help me find peace and my supervisor tells me that this sadness is symbolic of the great work I have done and the meaning of my relationships with my clients. And it is good. I finished my interviews today with staff urologists, genetics, endocrinology, child life, nurse practitioners about medical photography for our patients in urology who are born with ambiguous genitalia or other conditions that may be stigmatizing. I feel enlightened by different contradictory perspectives that have allowed me to have unbiased and well rounded ideas about this subject.... something that since Amsterdam in 2006 I have been investigating in my own mind. For possible research in the future, these interviews are fundamental to my career and I think the colleagues I've had here will be also- willing to help me and support me. I'm leaping (as a lemur) forward, accepting the movement, constant and irreversable, this is what sustains us, propelling ourselves from branch to branch to find a different view, a NEW view.

a trickle of wind, a pour of rain

And it hit me today that this fabulous experience, in Toronto is coming to a close. In just 2.5 weeks I will be saying goodbye and packing my things. I have never been so upset by an ending. Usually the last days of any experience, any home that dissipates, any change such as this creates an overwhelming sense of satisfaction in my heart and body. But perhaps it was the anticipation and the accomplishment- of reaching this goal, providing myself this experience that I wanted more than anything.... My liaison from Michigan told me recently that when I told her I was going to study in Toronto through the school of social work and design a placement for myself that had never been done by a student at UMICH she doubted me. But now she says, she thinks I can do anything and obtain anything if I want it enough. And I did want this enough and I still do. A feeling of satisfaction that does not dissipate or fade. The children and families that I must now say goodbye to have filled my heart with such passion and love for the goodness of people- it troubles me to think of goodbyes. But the first of many today as the Nigerian family boards the plane tomorrow leaving the family they created while here in the bounty of hope and prosperity. They fear the bleakness of the following days. This city energizes your muscles and strengthens your bones and I know this, will stay with me.
On August 12th I will fly to Kalowna, British Columbia with my friend from Toronto and travel to Nelson, a small town in the desert, a spirited town the Dalia Llama believes is now the center of the earth, and then travel to the Canadian Rockies to camp and hike and blissfully be. I will more than likely then head more west to Vancouver and Victoria to scope out the home-ability of the cities before I head back to the east- hopefully for a visit to Montreal and Vermont before school starts September 8th.
To all the time that passes and all the time that comes, the time that is now
is all that we have.